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Photo: Caity Krone

I think the most paradoxical thing about heartbreak is the level of self-awareness that comes with the whole process. Like, you’re aware that this person wasn’t the one, you’re aware that they didn’t treat you in the way you deserved to be treated, and deep down, you know you’re better off without each other, but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be sad that they’re no longer a constant in your life. In Lexi Jayde’s sophomore EP, closer to closure, the 19-year-old singer-songwriter writes from the heart to tell her tale.

In a string of eight tunes, Jayde eloquently expresses each of the emotions that come with a breakup: the initial shock, the eventual anger, the constant sadness, the waves of empowerment. In the midst of it all, she comes to realize that the only person who can give you closure is yourself. Each song, equally as impactful and sincere as the next, connects the overall narrative of healing from heartbreak.

The first page of Jayde’s story begins with “you don’t deserve these tears,” a melancholic self-reflexive tune about coming up with excuses to see your ex – sending a drunk text, strategically showing up where their friends hang out, running into them at a party – even though you know you shouldn’t. This bout of self-reflexivity carries itself into “homesick” and “drunk text me,” where Jayde comes to terms with being stuck on a version of someone that no longer exists. Suddenly, your ex has changed into a whole new person. Since when did they like seafood and being in big and loud crowds? The tracks acknowledge the frustration of seeing your person change into the person you wanted them to be, and ultimately, your bitterness won’t allow you to fully accept what’s done is done.

Jayde’s journey begins to reach its climax with “cruel intentions,” where she comes to understand that, perhaps, she was wearing rose-tinted glasses throughout the relationship. Their intentions were not as innocent as they once seemed, and finally, you’re able to realize it for yourself. “cruel intentions” perfectly sets the mood for previously released single “hate to be you” – otherwise known as the ultimate shower-singing, driving-with-the-windows-down-anthem – where Jayde gracefully throws up the middle finger to her ex. Transforming her pent-up anger into an ultimately empowering earworm, she sings, “I'd hate to be you, 'Cause I'll get over it, But you have to live with the hell you put me through.” It’s giving Kacey Musgraves, it’s giving old Taylor Swift, and the girlies are here for it.

Sailing the high of “hate to be you,” Jayde gets one step closer to closure in “self sabotage,” where she acknowledges that, while it stings, the heartbreak will lead her to a better version of herself. “gentle” and “someday” see the light at the end of the tunnel. People only exist to us when we are with them, or when we are thinking about them, and finally, our protagonist is ready to let go of her thoughts about this person. 

closer to closure is linked through both story and instrumentals. Featuring production by FINNEAS and Alexander23, the EP kicks off with melancholic-pop instrumentals that gradually intensify, and subsequently decrescendo, reflecting the emotional push-and-pull that comes with heartbreak. The simple yet effective instrumentation allows Jayde’s vocals to shine through. Just as sweet as it is vulnerable, it’s hard not to feel moved by the rising star's voice.

Jayde shares, “closer to closure resembles my journey of trying to seek closure after going through heartbreak. With every song I wrote for this EP, I got one step closer. While I know I’ll never get full closure, I’ve come to accept it, and I’ve grown so much through my experience. Happiness, empowerment, betrayal, denial, heartbreak, self-sabotage, and closure are all amongst some of the many emotions portrayed on this EP. I want listeners to walk away from this EP having felt something. I want those who may have similar experiences use these songs to heal and be empowered knowing you are not alone. I hope you enjoy my story.”

If there’s one thing to take away from this project, it’s that you’ll come back to yourself (you always do).